TIFFY'S HOUSE
In order to understand "Tiffy's House" you either have to "be there" or participate in a "Let's pretend".
For most it would be too difficult to pretend something happened to your own child, so let's not go there. But, suppose you knew someone; a neighbor, friend, distant relative perhaps, who had a normal, healthy child, or was pregnant with one. Then something inconceivable happened and this beloved child lost the ability to walk, talk, think, see, hear, or any combination of the above....severe....critical....hopeless.
I will play the part of your friend. I
can, because I've been there...am there. This is my daughter, Tiffany. A child
I love beyond words. She fills my life with love and hope, and I, hers. Our
hearts and breath share the same rhythm. I will love and care for her till my dying
day............................and then?
My worse fear is that Tiffany will outlive me and I will have failed to plan the
rest of her journey.
The TV was on, one busy morning. I really "listen to TV" more than watch it. So I was listening, sort of, when something caught my attention. This gentleman (I didn't catch his name) and his profoundly physically limited son were participating in a grueling Iron-man Marathon. The father was incredibly strong in body and spirit. The son was ecstatically happy. It was "his thing", his joy. I was filled with awe of this twosome. Then I realized I was seeing myself and Tiff in them. They were so connected. So one. Just the way we are.
Then the question. What would happen to this boy if his Dad suddenly disappeared? Who would fill that gap? Would someone take him running? Swimming?........Would his world just stop? Come to a screeching halt? And what about all the secret little pleasures? Does anyone know his favorite food? How he likes it cooked just so? How he loves a really hot (or cool) bath followed by a shower? Does this all have to stop? Does he suddenly live in a strange place with strangers?.....When he already feels lost and abandoned?
Tiff is a "face" person. She loves cheek to cheek talk. She loves nose kisses. I'm certain that in another life she was an Eskimo. She loves motion and music and massage. She needs help relieving gas. Blocked gas can make her "spazy" and very uncomfortable. She loves mylar balloons.............Who would love my child?
How many children with uncertain
tomorrows? You can argue that all our tomorrows are uncertain, and you are
right! But for most of us, when disaster hits we can still make decisions for
ourselves. We are not at the mercy of someone else's opinions of what's good for
us. Someone who hasn't a clue, and quite possibly will never have met us.
TIFFY'S HOUSE......built from
love....continuity in the absence of loved ones.
Before you ever need it, you know that Tiffy's
House will be your home. You have visited, perhaps done some
"overnighters", came for therapy or socialization....it's your home away from
home. A very familiar place (hurdle #1). Using journals, recordings and
videos, staff knows all about you....even your love of nose-kisses (hurdle
#2). You know the staff and they know you. There are no strangers
(hurdle #3). Yes, you can go for a run...or walk...or swim...or ride......it won't
be the same as when you did it with your loved one, but it will be the next best thing.
............You who are reading this and are trying to understand the emotions involved in the uncertainty of your child's future, can barely scrape the surface It's when your nights are tormented by the picture of your child never able to understand, never able to express a need or desire, never sure of anything.......not even of being loved.....
We need Tiffy's House. We
need to hear from people with like concerns.
..................We need to hear from concerned people.
.......................We need to hear from you.
TIFFY'S HOUSE
35 Geneva Street
Bath, N.Y. 14810
607-776-1503
dadams@infoblvd.net
Tiffy's House
Tiffany Noel, born December 25,
1976. Tiff is a beautiful little girl with soft brown hair and brown eyes.
She weighs 65#. Tiff is non-verbal and non-ambulatory. She is a total-care
child. Tiffany needs Tiffy's House.
Dottie is Tiffany's mother. She is 65 years old. She runs a pre-school daycare program in her home 5 days a week which allows her to be a working at-home mom. She is in the process of developing a new direct sales business, Kaleidoscope Home Shows.
A percentage of income from
Caterpillar Kids and Kaleidoscope Home Shows
will go toward the development of Tiffy's House.
March 6, 2000